Automobile Merit Rating

I stand before you as an innocent victim of a mouse-trapping Society Vice President who asked me to conduct a seminar on developments in Automobile Merit Rating, saying that there would be a number of papers to carry the session and I would only have to referee the bout. The word "only" was the mouse-trap. When I saw the first papers, deep-fried in a batter of hypergeometric foundation overlaid with negative binomials and coefficients of variation, I hastily reviewed my dues-paying status in the Society in the same frame of mind as the chap down in my new "Yo’-all" neck of the woods who came into the City Hall one morning to inquire whether his marriage license had not already expired.