Feeling Like a Fraud – Impostor Syndrome in Actuaries

During my first actuarial internship, I felt an overwhelming need to prove myself and kept thinking I was not good enough to be working for that company. After learning how many people had applied, I told myself that timing and luck were mostly to thank for getting this coveted intern position. The move to an open-concept workspace two months into the job did not help – now I was also worried that everyone would see me clicking around my spreadsheet and suspect that I did not know what I was doing!

Although I did not know it at the time, I was experiencing the impostor syndrome. Several celebrities have also admitted to suffering from the impostor syndrome including Michelle Obama, Tina Fey, and Maya Angelou. Impostor syndrome expert Dr. Valerie Young describes it as "a secret belief that deep down we're not as bright, capable, competent or talented as other people seem to think we are, and therefore have this fear of being found out."

In the following, I have identified three areas where it could be easy to slip into feeling like an impostor as a qualified actuary or an actuarial student.

• Actuarial exams
  Actuarial students are attracted to this field in part due to their aptitude for math but then find themselves battling the fear of failure every time they write an exam. Dr. Young explains: "When the 'natural genius' has to struggle or work hard to accomplish something, he or she thinks this means they aren't good enough. They are used to skills coming easily, and when they have to put in effort, their brain tells them that's proof they're an impostor."
• Professional designations
  Actuarial designations serve as external evidence of competence. Outside of writing exams however, actuaries are not expected to have every reading memorized, nor does the learning stop once all exams are complete. Dr. Young explains: "'Experts' … might be hesitant to ask a question in class or speak up in a meeting at work because they're afraid of looking stupid if they don't already know the answer."
• Lack of diversity in the actuarial profession
  As the actuarial profession works to achieve diversity and inclusion, this will help alleviate the impostor syndrome in underrepresented groups of talent. Dr. Young says, "A sense of belonging fosters confidence. The more people who look or sound like you, the more confident you feel. And conversely, the fewer people who look or sound like you, it can and does for many people impact their confidence."

I was lucky to attend one of Dr. Young's speaking events in May 2017. It was very helpful for me to learn about the impostor syndrome and that I was not the only one experiencing it. To work through it, Dr. Young proposes that you normalize impostor feelings, reframe your thoughts and continue trying to change your thoughts.   

By recognizing and managing feelings of impostor syndrome, I hope you find renewed confidence in your work.